Weather Policy

Effective immediately and retroactively

1. Scope

This policy governs weather as it pertains to, occurs near, or is complained about on this website.

2. Provision of Weather

Weather is provided as is, without warranty of any kind, express or implied, including but not limited to warranties of pleasantness, seasonality, or basic decency.

3. Service Level

Weather is offered on a best effort basis at an uptime of one hundred percent. There is always weather. This is the only guarantee in the entire document and it costs me nothing to make.

4. Regional Variations

Users located in Southeast Texas acknowledge that the term “seasons” is used here loosely and refers to Hot, Still Hot, Briefly Not Hot, and Everything Is Underwater.

Users elsewhere may experience up to four distinct seasons. This is not an upgrade tier and cannot be purchased.

5. Complaints

Complaints regarding weather may be submitted through the contact form. They will be received, read, and sympathized with. They will not be acted upon, as I do not control the weather.

Complaints alleging that I do control the weather will be answered privately and with considerable interest.

6. Force Majeure

In the event of hurricane, hail, ice storm, derecho, or the annual week in which every air conditioner in the county fails simultaneously, all other policies on this site are suspended and everybody should go check on their neighbors.

7. Barometric Pressure

Not my department.

8. Governing Sky

This policy is governed by the sky.