Department of Complain

1. Hours of Operation

The Complaints Department is open whenever I check the contact form, which is most days.

2. Structure

The Complaints Department consists of one person. That person is also the Content Department, the Engineering Department, the Legal Department, and the guy who takes the trash out.

3. Escalation

Requests to speak to a manager will be escalated to me. I will then take up the matter with myself. I will report back with the outcome, which is usually that I was wrong.

4. Categories Accepted

• Factual errors, which I want to hear about and will fix.
• Broken links, likewise.
• Typos, though be advised the entire brand is built on a typo and my defenses are well developed.
• Requests for stories to read.
• Disagreement, if it is about the substance.

5. Categories Not Accepted

• Requests that I be a different person.
• Anything addressed to “Dear Sir or Madam, I am reaching out regarding a guest post opportunity.”

6. Response Time

Faster than a company. Slower than you would like.

7. Satisfaction Guarantee

Absolutely not.